At-One-Ment

March 14, 2024*

Dear siblings in Christ,

Becoming a parent transformed my understanding of sin. I remember the day very clearly. Our then-two-year-old daughter Sophie kept saying “No!” and, even though I knew this was appropriate (because it meant she was growing as she should), I was getting pretty frustrated. But I was also able to take a step back, see the situation for what it was, love my child, and even embrace her disobedience as a good thing.

It was later that evening that the ball dropped. I had been taught that God was so holy that He couldn’t tolerate any sin in His presence at all (and yes, God was a He, with the capital H). Even the smallest of sins was enough to justify our eternal damnation, and it was only Jesus’ blood that covered all my sin and made God OK to have me anywhere near Him. As I drew a parallel to my interaction with Sophie, the equivalent human action was shocking and disturbing.  If I modeled my parenting on what I’d been taught about God, the human equivalent for her intolerable disobedience would be for me to kill her, put her in a trash bag, and leave her at the curb. And I thought, “Hey, wait a minute. If I, as a limited human being, can handle my child’s disobedience, I think God, who’s love is even bigger than mine, can do that for me, too. If I love her even when she pulls a tantrum, and can even welcome that as part of her normal development, why would I believe God is so over-sensitive?”

“Atonement” is a complicated word in our Church lexicon. For some in the Christian household, Jesus’ blood is understood as a necessary payment to appease an angry God for our sins. Some people think of Jesus’ death and resurrection as paying a ransom to the devil who had stolen humankind away from God (which has its own theological problems. If God is omnipotent, how could the devil do that?!). The way Jesus did these things was to die on the cross and be punished in our place. Only God could appease God in this one-time transaction.

The word atonement is actually a much more gracious and relational word. Its roots are in middle English and can be broken down to “at-one-ment”. (And that etymology is real, unlike doing the same with “assume”, which is just cheeky). An action of atonement is one that is meant to bring a relationship to wholeness, to express union, to connect, especially after distance or a disruption. Instead of describing some sort of transaction, it actually describes a transformation – God’s heart turning over within Godself, our hearts turning over within us, and the flood of love that is initiated and unleashed, not only by Jesus’ death and resurrection, but just as much by his incarnation and life. God doesn’t need a payment, and a violent one at that, to love God’s children. That love is bigger than our limits, stubbornness, brokenness, and sin.

The Christian scriptures speak frequently of Jesus death for us – even sometimes calling Jesus the atoning sacrifice for our sin. It is a challenge for us to lay down centuries of problematic teaching, lift our relationship to God up out of the bronze age, and take up the very real possibility that this is a metaphor. Christian teaching is clear - Christ died for us. But that doesn’t mean “in place of us”. It is a gift given in love. I can say to my husband, “I made the bed for you (because I love you)” as a way of building relationship. Or I could say “I made the bed for you (because I knew you were supposed to, but you do it so miserably when you try that I just went ahead and did your chore for you)” and then be self-righteously resentful. BIG difference!

Jesus was born for you. Jesus lived for you. I hope this Lent – or any season of the year – when you hear that Jesus died for you that you will hear all the love those words contain.

With love and in faith,

Jenny+

* This reflection is an encore, first offered during Lent 2021.